A Certain Browneyed Redhead
by flooj9235
Summary: Hermione's POV. Hermione makes a surprise visit to the Burrow and accidentally ends up telling Ginny how she really feels about her. But will Ginny reciprocate those feelings? One shot.


"… and you'll stay upstairs with Ginny, Hermione," Mrs. Weasley told me, handing me a blanket. "It gets a little cold up there," she explained, "and I'm afraid you might not be used to the cold here."

I smiled. "It's fine, Mrs. Weasley. My dad used to take me on camping trips in the mountains when I was young. I enjoy the cold."

Mrs. Weasley smiled. "Glad to hear it, but take the blanket, just in case." She smiled that wonderful, maternal smile at me. It always made me want to be a part of the family, though after all the time I'd spent here, I already was virtually a daughter to Mrs. Weasley.

She nodded once, pausing to sniff the air. She groaned, turning and hurrying into the kitchen. "I'm sorry, but my casserole is burning!" A shriek could be heard, followed by Fred and George's raucous laughter and a furious Molly Weasley's shouting.

I grinned, glancing over to the door I knew the staircase was hidden behind. _It's nice of the Weasleys to let me stay here this winter,_ I thought, smiling as I headed for the door.

The dentist's union my parents belonged to had had a mandatory meeting in France, and it had been too short of notice for me to come. So, I had asked Ron if I could stay with him, and the very next day, Mr. Weasley was waiting for me outside my front door.

As I started climbing the stairs, I reflected back over the past semester. As a sixth year student at Hogwarts, my schedule had been very different. Aside from all the classes, I hadn't had much extra time to do anything. Anything, of course, included spending time with my best friend.

I had asked Ron and the rest of the Weasley clan to keep it a secret from Ginny that I was coming. I hadn't seen her in so long that I thought it would be fun to surprise her.

I paused outside Ginny's door, knocking softly.

"Come in," Ginny replied lazily. I could almost picture her sprawled across her bed, reading a book.

I grinned and opened the door quietly, stepping into Ginny's room. I noticed immediately that I had been right; Ginny was reading.

Ginny reached up and marked her place with her finger, looking up from her book. Her jaw dropped open and her eyes bugged. "Hermione!"

Apparently, the place in her book didn't matter anymore, because she completely forgot about it in her haste to get up. I dropped the blanket just in time, for the next moment, Ginny threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly.

"Oh my gosh! How've you been? I can't believe you're here! It's been forever!" Ginny was talking nearly a mile a minute.

I laughed. "Hi, Ginny."

She grinned breathlessly, her cheeks a bright, happy pink. "Hi right back!"

Ginny helped me unpack, then we sat down to talk and catch up with each other's lives. She told me about her latest boyfriends, all the breakups that followed, and her decision that she was done dating for a while. I in turn told her about my uneventful life, no new exciting relationships or gossip in my life. I did, of course, manage to slip in a joke or two.

Ginny sat back against the headboard of her bed, a grin on her face. "I missed you, 'Mione."

"I missed you, too, Ginny. It was kind of lonely this year, not having anyone I could really talk to." I traced a pattern in the bedspread with my finger, thinking. I had desperately needed someone during the winter quarter, having come to realize something important. Had I had the time, I would have searched out Ginny and talked to her then, but I hadn't.

Ginny was silent for a moment. A frown creased her forehead. "What's wrong?" she asked softly, leaning toward me.

I looked up, startled. "What? Oh. Well, nothing… Not really." I hated the evasive edge in my voice. It was a dead giveaway.

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Oh, come **on**, Hermione! I know you well enough to tell when something's wrong." She scooted closer to me. "Now, tell me?"

I shook my head, closing my eyes for a moment. "It's not important, Gin. Besides, it's over and done with." _I think,_ I added mentally.

The look on Ginny's face told me that she wasn't going to let it go. I groaned. "I'll be damned if you aren't the most persistent…"

Ginny grinned angelically, the smile fading a moment later. "Yeah, well, you love me anyway, don't you?"

My throat was suddenly too dry. I managed a smile, turning and looking out the window a moment later.

"Hermione?" Ginny's voice was soft, compelling. "Please tell me what's wrong?"

I swallowed, closing my eyes. "I'm not sure anything's _wrong_, Gin. Just… a lot of stuff happened during second quarter, and I was really… confused. I think I'll be okay."

"You know I'm always here for you," Ginny murmured softly, moving herself to sit at my side. She rested her hand on my shoulder gently. "If you need to, you can talk about it."

I hesitated, opening and closing my mouth once. I opened my eyes and found my best friend watching me earnestly, her eyes drilling into mine. Concern and worry was in Ginny's chocolate brown eyes. Suddenly, everything started to come pouring out. "Ginny, I-"

"Dinner's ready!" Mrs. Weasley's voice called up through the Burrow.

Ginny groaned softly, still watching me. I immediately fell silent, biting my lip uneasily, realizing what I had almost revealed.

An awkward silence stretched on for a few horrible moments.

"Come on," I heard myself saying as I slipped off of Ginny's bed. "It's probably for the best not to leave your mum waiting."

Ginny remained silent, following me out of her room and down to the dinner table.

I didn't say much during dinner, and I didn't eat much, either. I noticed Ginny watching me as she ate, but I didn't look up to meet her gaze.

The moment dinner was over, I jumped up and offered to help Mrs. Weasley clean up. We chatted animatedly the entire time, while Ginny remained silent as she levitated the dishes into the proper locations in the cabinets.

A sense of guilt was beginning to settle on my shoulders. By the time Mrs. Weasley shooed me and Ginny out of the kitchen, I was absently playing with my hair and chewing on my lip. I stood in the hallway, rather unsure of what to do with myself.

"Hermione." Ginny had nearly whispered my name. Though her voice was soft, I could detect the worry and uneasiness lining her words.

I turned to find her behind me, her arms crossed over her chest. Her beautiful red hair was splaying across her shoulders, her chocolate brown eyes full of concern.

"What?" I asked in a whisper, already knowing what she was going to say.

Ginny shot me a dry look, grabbing my wrist and leading me back up the stairs to her room, one of the only private places in the Burrow. She let me step in first, coming behind me and shutting the door behind us. She sighed and turned away from the door, looking at me once again.

I silently returned her gaze.

Ginny sighed and closed her eyes. "Hermione… Something went wrong, and I can tell that it upset you. I'm going to drive myself crazy if you don't tell me." She opened her eyes and managed a weak smile. "Please?"

I bit my lip, so desperately wanting to tell her, but so scared of her reaction all at the same time.

"You can tell me anything," she urged.

Against my better judgment, I opened my mouth. "It's just… I… Gin, this is really, I don't know, really weird."

Ginny quirked her eyebrow, her expression nearly screaming _I-don't-care-I-can-take-it._

That was fine with me. I'd started, and now I couldn't seem to stop. "Ginny, I did a lot of thinking over the summer and through this first semester. I realized a few things about myself. For instance, I love reading so much because books were my best friends as a child. I didn't have many real friends, so I read." I paused for breath, continuing again a moment later. "And other things like that. But, the real thing I realized was the most important." I bit my lip, stopping this time. I'd caught myself just in time.

Ginny, of course, inched closer to me. "Hermione, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I'm here to listen if you need me," she whispered.

I hesitated, seeing my opportunity to get out of the conversation I had both dreamed about and dreaded. Before I could decide what to do, I'd already opened my mouth. "I'm gay, Ginny."

Ginny's eyes widened, her jaw dropped open, and her shoulders slumped a little. She got a hold of herself a moment later, nodding slowly. "Oh."

That was all she said. Oh. My heart raced with anxiety. Had I just made a grave mistake? Had I just alienated my best friend? I was suddenly too scared to look at her. My gaze dropped to my hands, laying uselessly in my lap.

"Oh," she said again. She shifted on the bed, quiet for a long moment. "Do you, um… Do you like anyone?"

I nodded, still avoiding her gaze. "Yes," I choked out.

Ginny hesitated, and it was obvious that she was thinking even though her mind was reeling. "Do I know who it is?" she asked, almost timidly. I could tell she was slowly putting the pieces together.

"Yeah." I hated the way I sounded. _So__ discreet. Brilliant. Way to be, Hermione._

"Is it… me?" she whispered, trying to disguise the fact that she was hoping it wasn't her.

I nodded again, tears burning like acid in my eyes.

"How long… How long have you liked me?" she asked softly, choking on the last few words.

"Since last year," I whispered. I sat there for a moment, trying to endure the horrible, awkward silence that had settled in the room. The air seemed so thick that I suddenly couldn't breathe. After a moment, I couldn't stand it any longer. I jumped to my feet and ran out of the room, down the stairs, and out into the garden. My mind didn't register the feeling of the cold in the air.

_Pathetic,_ I told myself, heading toward a large tree and sitting against its trunk. _Absolutely pathetic. You ran away from her._

Then the tears began to fall. I didn't even hear Ginny come up and sit beside me. I was only aware of her presence when she wrapped her arms around me and held me to her, rocking me gently. I cried into her shoulder then, not caring how pitiful I looked or that I was crying in front of her.

She just held me until I was calmed down. When I opened my eyes to look at her, she was staring at me sorrowfully. "Hermione…" she whispered, stopping herself and frowning. She tried again. "Hermione, I just… You're my best friend, but I just… I'm not like that," she said lamely. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head, detaching myself from her and turning away. "I know," I whispered. "I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry."

Ginny chewed on her lip, reaching out and touching my shoulder. I shrugged her hand off, trying not to let my heart break any more than it already had.

"Hermione… we're still friends, right?"

I hesitated for a minute, then nodded. I turned to look at her through my tear-filled eyes, putting a halfhearted smile on my face. I knew it had failed and turned into a grimace immediately.

Hurt flashed in Ginny's eyes as she tried to flash me a smile. I turned away from her again, my tears coming to a stop as I stared out across the landscape. A dull ache filled my chest.

After a few awkward, tension-filled minutes, Ginny made to get up. "You want to go in?" she asked quietly. "Mum's probably wondering where we are."

I shrugged apathetically, not making any move to rise. "I'll be in later," I responded in a voice that didn't sound quite like mine. It sounded too empty and sad to be me.

"Okay." Ginny voice held a note of despondency, but she turned and started walking back to the Burrow.

"Hey, Ginny?" I called softly, sounding a little more like myself. I heard her stop, but I didn't look at her. I couldn't bear to.

"What?"

"You won't tell anyone, will you?" I asked, already sure of her answer.

"Of course not," she responded in a voice just as quiet as mine.

"Thanks," I whispered, hugging my knees to my chest.

After a moment, Ginny's footsteps continued on toward the Burrow. I heard the door shut behind her, and, knowing I was finally alone, burst into tears all over again.

Ginny and I didn't talk as much after that day. Our friendship soon became strained, and after many weeks of politely trying to hold conversations about things that we really didn't even care about, Ginny and I came to the consensus that it would be better to go our own ways.

After a while, I heard that Ginny and Harry were an item. I was happy for them, but I couldn't help but wish that it I was in Harry's shoes. The 'happy couple' quickly became distant friends, but Ron stuck with me. I was glad of company, even though he reminded me of Ginny. Though after Ron asked me out, I knew he and I were going to part ways as well.

I heard some time ago that Harry and Ginny got married and had children. I'd gotten an invitation to their wedding, but I knew it was only out of courtesy and respect for the friendship we'd once shared. I didn't go.

I've been with a few people since that day, but none of the relationships I've formed have gone anywhere. I keep getting dumped because they say 'my heart's not in it.' And they're right, my heart _isn't_ in it. My heart's with a certain brown-eyed redhead that didn't feel the same way about me that I felt about her years ago.


End file.
